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Wesley/Fred: 100 Fanfics
Prompt 038. Touch - "Don't Need to See Him: Touch" (5/5) 
31st-Oct-2005 12:39 am
wesley & fred
Title: Don’t Need to See Him: Touch (5/5)
Author: Lara ( larakailyn)
Fandom: Angel
Characters: Fred/Wesley
Summary: Wesley has been able to separate Illyria from Fred, but it has come with price.
Prompt: 038. Touch.
Word Count: 601
Rating: FRM/FRAO (this part)
Author's Notes: AU Fred POV AU from near the end of Season 5. Be warned – there’s no sugar-coating of Fred’s time in Pylea in these fics. It was dirty, ugly time for her.

When I was really little, before I understood how they worked and why they existed, I was afraid of thunderstorms. But whenever there was one, my dad would come into the room and hold me and tell me everything was all right because it was just rain, and rain was good because it watered the crops he planted in the field to feed the cattle. He would wrap his big hand around mine, and just that simple touch assured me that he was right. It was just rain, but even if it was something scarier, I knew my dad would be there to hold me and scare away the bad things with just a touch.

But no one was there to hold me and let me know everything would be okay when I was in Pylea. The only touches I got were when my “owners” tried to grab me or one of the other slaves wanted me to...satisfy them. I never let them get closer than a touch on the arm. That was part of the reason I worked so hard to figure out how to disable the collars they put on all of us slaves and run away to someplace where no one would try to touch me that way unless I wanted them to.

Once I was finally found and brought home, I didn’t let anyone actually touch me for the first few weeks. I was scared if they did, they would wake me up and it would all be a dream – that I would actually be back alone in my cave or, even worse, still in the slave quarters of the Fretrik clan. Slowly, I started letting others touch me again, and when I broke down in my parents’ arms – when they touched me, held me – I knew that finally things were going to be all right again.

Until Illyria came and I felt her hollowing me from the inside out and then taking me over, trapping me so that I could feel everything she touched even though it was through the barrier of leather. Every time she touched Wesley, I wanted him to know that I was there and I could feel him. I wanted to be able to touch him without the leather and Illyria between us.

A wish I finally got...with a price. But even though I can’t see him anymore, I’d know his touch anywhere – like the way he runs his hand over me and clasps me to him, the way he cups my breasts and circles my nipples with his thumb, making me gasp. The stubble on his cheek tickles my neck when he kisses it. And then I can feel him slowly trailing his hand lower and lower, an ache building inside me while he begins to tease me, his fingers moving over me and in me, bringing me just to the edge before he pushes into me from behind, stretching me, filling me. Unable to see him, only feel him, the feeling is unbelievably intense and erotic, and I can’t help surrendering to him and his touch as he moves inside me and tilts my head to kiss me deeply.

He caresses me and moves in me, winding me tighter and tighter until I come apart, shaking in his arms. Then he shudders against me, and I can feel his release, but he doesn’t pull out, and we lie there together.

I can feel him.

I can hear him.

I can taste him.

I can smell him.

I don’t need to see him to know he’ll always be there with me.
31st-Oct-2005 03:26 am (UTC)
I've just zoomed through this whole series, and I cannot express how much I love it. Quiet, subtle, but ever so effective and beautiful. Really great work!
31st-Oct-2005 07:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! It wasn't what I had originally planned, but I'm pleased with how it worked out in the end. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

And I'm glad to have you on my friends list too!
31st-Oct-2005 04:37 am (UTC)
I agree with demasduitdream, this was a good series. Do you think you'll write more with it? I'd love to see more.
31st-Oct-2005 07:55 pm (UTC)
I definitely have plans for a couple of more fics from Wesley's POV, and I'm thinking I may actually write some more in this AU because the idea does intrigue me and I know some of the other fanfic100 prompts would play into it well. I'm taking part in NaNoWriMo, but I'll be writing more in December!
31st-Oct-2005 06:27 am (UTC)
I just read all five fics in this series-- beautiful! All the details are perfect, and the way each one moves in chronological order through to the present is very effective. The idea of Fred getting her life back but losing her sight is interesting, too-- it adds a nice bittersweet touch.

Can't wait to read the rest of your fics for the challenge. :)
31st-Oct-2005 08:06 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! The chronological order wasn't something I originally intended, but when I started writing it, it came out that way and seemed to work well. And I'm very much of the school of consequence in things, so it seemed to me there would have to be a price to get Fred back - I thought this was an interesting one to explore.

I'll be writing more for the challenge come December since I'm doing NaNoWriMo from tomorrow. :)
31st-Oct-2005 10:37 pm (UTC)
This was brilliant, phenomenal - what a GOOD job!!
1st-Nov-2005 09:33 pm (UTC)
Aw, thank you, Adele! Glad you enjoyed it!
1st-Nov-2005 12:56 am (UTC)
omg, I love you. This series is just... wow. "Taste" is probably my favorite. I really hope you write more for this!! :)
1st-Nov-2005 09:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I very probably will after NaNoWriMo is over!
10th-Nov-2005 08:40 pm (UTC)
Oh my gosh, I totally cried when I read this! It's beautiful!
11th-Nov-2005 12:53 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you much! Glad you liked it.
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